Skip navigation

if somewhat zaftig, at least well-dressed

My friend cleaned out her closets the other day and gave me all her fat clothes. As she is someone of impeccable style, this was somewhat like Christmas…albeit a depressing and demoralizing Christmas. So, just like Christmas!

Suddenly my closet contains more than just some skirts and a single, sad business suit that never really fit properly to begin with. I have pants! Pants, I tell you! And shirts! Shirts I can button over my massive chest-area!

Obviously I find this somewhat exciting.

As a result of this sudden clothes-having, I’ve been motivated to actually get dressed most mornings, and that means I am continually having to answer the question “What shoes will I wear with this?” Eagle-eyed readers will remember the sad, sad day last year when I realized none of my pre-pregnancy shoes would fit on my suddenly huge and plank-like feet*, which meant that several years’ worth of careful shoe-collecting and meticulous sale-scouring were all dumped unceremoniously in a large box in the storage closet. Since then I’ve managed to acquire a pair of sneakers (white) and a pair of warm boots, but aside from that? Not a whole lot.

After yesterday’s internet debacle, I decided to spend some quality time at Shoe Pavilion. I’ve been wanting some cute, sporty little Mary Jane-inspired flats, and they had them in spades…just not in my size. This is nothing new. Apparently those of us whose feet are size 9 and larger do not require such things as “shoes.”

However, I found myself being drawn to a section I rarely visit: the Dansko section. Dansko, in case you don’t know, makes a series of clunky, clog-like shoes that are rumored to be terribly comfortable, much like Birkenstocks, but like Birkenstocks, I have always given them a wide berth. I was a Goth, after all. Goths do not wear comfortable shoes. Granted, my current choice in footwear is an ancient pair of Ugg knock-offs, but still.

The pair I kept coming back to was the least clog-like of the bunch; a cute, clunky Mary Jane. I’d walk by, check them out, walk away again. It was very single-girl-in-a-bar. “What’s a cute pair of Mary Janes doing in a place like this? Oh - you’re Dansko. Oh. Uh - go to any health-food stores lately? Ha, ha. I’m totally kidding. But, uh - did you?” I tried on some other shoes, but they were all just eh. I mean, if I had enough free cash to buy a new pair of shoes every couple of months, there were definitely some contenders…but since my footwear purchases are few and far between, I want to make the most of them. And the Danskos, they beckoned. Also, they were on sale for $45.

Long story short, I am now the owner of a pair of suspiciously clog-like Dansko Mary Janes. True to rumor, they are insanely comfortable, and with some stripey tights and a black dress might even pass as Gothy. Although given my current lifestyle, the health food store scenario? Somewhat more likely.

* It is only fair to note that my feet are actually a size 9 1/2, which was another unwelcome revelation but one I feel obligated to point out, lest anyone feel I should be building character by cramming my feet into my old shoes. A half size: maybe. A whole size? That’s way more character than I need.

technorati tags:dankso, wardrobe, zaftig


  1. Cheryl
    Posted March 21, 2007 at 3:40 pm | Permalink

    Congrats! Nothing, but nothing fit me after my pregnancy. Somehow, the very act of getting dressed in clothes that fit and look good on us makes us much more willing to greet the day … and feel part of society.

  2. C
    Posted March 22, 2007 at 11:53 am | Permalink

    “Eagle-eyed readers will remember the sad, sad day last year when I realized none of my pre-pregnancy shoes would fit on my suddenly huge and plank-like feet*,”

    This is the kind of thing that nobody tells you about having a kid. I wonder how often this kind of thing occurs. My feet are already huge, I can’t afford any more foot girth.

  3. Posted March 22, 2007 at 11:57 am | Permalink

    Cheryl, no kidding! It seemed so pointless to get dressed in anything other than sweats when sweats were all that fit properly. And I don’t have that “hot mama in workout gear” vibe going. Not even a little.

    C, oh my god, it’s so true. I am not happy about the foot thing. Not even a little. My husband keeps saying “Just think of it as an excuse to go shoe shopping!” which would be lovely if the increased foot size came with free footwear.

  4. kerflop
    Posted March 23, 2007 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    Oh man, I remember reading about the shoe thing, and that pregnancy might make my feet grow. And I thought p’shaw! Ha. A WHOLE SIZE UP. As if I didn’t already have large enough kickers.

  5. Posted March 23, 2007 at 2:54 pm | Permalink

    kerflop, it’s funny you should mention that…my MIL said her feet grew and I actually thought “Aww, how quaint!” and filed it away with “things so unimportant I won’t give them a second thought.” Sigh.

One Trackback/Pingback

  1. […] crunchy granola parenting, here I come. I’ve already got the shoes, […]

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *