cranky pixels

I woke up this morning and the weirdest thing happened: I didn’t feel like going right back to sleep!

My big strategy for keeping the crazy at bay, as it turns out, is to work so hard I can’t even remember my name. This is lovely as long as I have no desire to think or be interesting, or to do things like sleep regularly or engage with my kid. Also, it’s sort of hard to maintain, what with the pressure and the stress and my weak constitution. But other than that it’s been great!

But things are finally winding down with work, and I’ve sort of almost been sleeping on a regular basis, and last night Not So and I went to a concert like grownup people, and it was a blast.

Which of course does not mean my coping strategies are wrong, exactly. Although if the solution to my depressive tendencies is to regularly see OK Go in concert, I’m pretty cool with that.

I was totally going to be all glib* about my sugar addiction, but then last night, after we’d ridded the house of the Evil Chocolate Cake of Evil and had a sensible, sugar-free dinner, I lost my shit and had to inhale an entire box of Cadbury Creme Eggs just to keep from killing people with my hands. That’s addict behavior, people.

(In related news, the Cadbury Creme Eggs were delicious.)

So apparently kicking my sugar habit is going to be slightly more effort than simply tossing the last of the chocolate cake and not baking another one. Who knew? I’d like to say I’m totally optimistic but let’s face it, I’m not a sugar-free sort of girl. It’s not even like I want to cut out sugar entirely – just processed sugar, mostly, and the goal is to cut down rather than cut out. But for serious, if I have to mainline chocolate just to keep sane? That’s probably, you know, a bad sign.

Though it would definitely help if I could get my hands on some honey and almonds and fresh ricotta. That is a dessert I can get behind.

*And yes, I mean that in the Tom Cruise-iest way possible.

Oh my gosh* it’s been a long week.

Not So is finally back from SXSW, which is utterly lovely and means I can sleep in every once in a while without a very persistent preschooler demanding that I get up and put on Yo Gabba Gabba. I have nothing against Yo Gabba Gabba, but I do have something against mornings. Mornings and I have a long and complicated relationship and I like to deal with them on my terms, which involve coffee and denial.

And then, of course, we’ve got to add Daylight Saving Time into the mix, which is just plain unkind. Oh hey, now I have to get up even earlier in order to look like a functional adult! It’s a good thing my kid sleeps late, is all I’m going to say about that. If I’d had one of those ‘up at dawn’ children I’d be typing this from a padded cell somewhere.

But enough of that! Things are back to normal in the Cranky household, and I have recommitted to the Cranky Pixels blog in a way that does not involve candles and invocations but may involve a blood sacrifice, if cheeseburgers count toward such things, so I will actually start posting things that pop into my head instead of just thinking that would make a good blog post all the damned time. Not that I do that! Because I am deeply sane and also not obsessive at all.

*I am trying to curb my swearing, and it’s been a total fucking success.

So after a rocky and psychosis-enlivening start, our hold-your-breath-and-jump method of financial management has borne fruit of the monetary kind. Dare I say the poorpocalypse has been averted? Will that anger the contract fates? I do not know, but I do know this: it is so nice to have a positive bank balance again. For serious.

Of course, that means I’m busy. Like, crazy busy, the kind of busy where you can feel yourself ctrl-alt-whatevering in your sleep. The kind of busy where you forget what day it is because it’s been that long since you took an actual day off. In my house we call this “normal,” but I suspect that’s just because there are two of us. (Well, three, but the kid’s too short to get a vote.)

But it’s good. Good! I like working, and I like money, and I like the things I buy with money. And it’s nice to see that we can, in fact, make this work. (Note to fates: I am not tempting you.)

But you know what? I totally think we should start saving for a vacation, once we’re back in a position to save for things. Someplace tropical. Except that I’ve been watching Lost lately so we may have to walk there.

OK, so, I got a new domain name. I’m sure I’ll have something adequately witty and enchanting to say about that at some point in the near future, but for now I just wanted to reassure my viewing public that yes, you’ve got the right site, and no, I didn’t bother to change the theme yet, okay?

So yes, there’s that. And also, I will.

So you’re all on the edge of your seats wondering how the birthday thing went, right? I kept you waiting out of sheer wickedness. Wickedness, and the fact that I am both lazy and sick with a cold. What’s up with all these damned colds? They’ve been rotating through our house like some sort of white elephant gift, passing from one person to another and, frankly, making me rather pissed off. I AM THROUGH BEING SICK, DO YOU HEAR ME? Also, I am running out of tissues.

Anyway: the party was a success, if a little under-attended (one group of guests had apparently been sure it was the next weekend, at which point they e-mailed me going “Um, did you know that your party was a week ago? You probably did.” Which was funny, and I may have LOLed, but only very quietly and to myself). The kid had a fabulous time. He helped me decorate the littlest cupcakes (which he decided were meteors). No one else had any idea what the cake/cupcake spread was supposed to be, which was fine. I guess.

Also a (qualified) success: the rocket softie. I made some modifications to a pattern I found in One Yard Wonders (which is a pretty fabulous book, if you’re into that sort of thing) and it turned out kind of awesome. The kid likes it, which was the important part.

In other crafty news, I finally slipcovered the Fabulous!Rocking!Glider! (the exclamation points are to emphasize the fact that I love the lovely glider and am not going to get rid of it despite the increasing impracticality of having it in our house). A favorite snuggling spot for both kid and cats, the F!R!G! was sort of disgustingly stained and matted with cat hair, and since the cushions were both a) cream-colored and b) upholstered, cleaning it was a pain. ENTER CRAFTY MAMA, with her IKEA fabric and her barely-passable sewing machine skills! Given that I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing, I think it turned out pretty well.

All those other grand ideas I had? Not going to happen. I was totally going to make garland, and ornaments, and stuff. But what did I do instead? I caught a cold. (I did make gingerbread men. I’m not dead.)

December is full of busy in the Cranky abode – the kid’s birthday is followed so closely by that one big holiday, and all of it comes right on the heels of that other big holiday, the one that involves a lot of overeating and the generation of vast amounts of leftovers.

This year is no different, except for the part where the kid is SUPER EXCITED!!! about all of it. Last year? Meh. This year? OMG birthday! OMG Christmas! Is it Christmas yet? CAN SANTA BRING ME AN INSECTOSAURUS TOY?*

But I? I am a shopping master this year, and am already done with gift acquisition, thanks to the glory that is the Internet.

And we got a tree! A real tree, made of wood and green stuff. Someone brought it to us on a bicycle. (Have I mentioned lately how much I love Portland?) We decorated the other day (the tree, not the bike messenger) and I took one look at the finished product and OF COURSE decided I need to craft various felt-based ornaments to pretty it up. (Still talking about the tree, here, people. Keep up.) I’m thinking garland, for one thing (found a super-simple tutorial on Anna Maria Horner’s site – the kid could even help, which would rock). Also various and sundry hanging decorations (like the ornaments featured on Fantastic Toys and the Felt Circles ornament featured on Craftzine, which purports to be much easier than it looks). Someone also mentioned Shrinky Dinks, which – I love Shrinky Dinks, and how much fun would that be? And I totally got the kid a Shrinky Dink set for his birthday, because nothing says Christmas like robots, amirite?

Speaking of, I’m making a crapload of felt toys for the kid’s 4th birthday party, which we are hosting at our miniscule apartment because we are crazy people. I figured I didn’t have enough to do, what with Christmas and the business and the book release and all. Why not also make the solar system out of baked goods (related: I still love you, Pluto) and hand-sew a huge rocket pillow to give to the kid (and miniature versions thereof as party favors)?

Aside: party favors? Did not exist when I was a kid. Or else I just went to the wrong parties. Because I never got swag, and now everyone does it and I totally can’t be the only mom who’s all ‘hey, I gave you cake, what more do you want?’. But then I get all psycho overachiever and decide it would be so much cooler if I made favors myself, and that’s where you get the pre-party mama meltdown. Which is not going to happen this year, FYI. It’s totally not.

*He’s decided that an Insectosaurus toy is the most exciting thing anywhere ever, and every time he mentions Santa Claus he asks if Santa can bring him one. Which was a little dicey for those of us who do Santa’s shopping for him, since the damn thing’s apparently a collector’s item or some crap. Thank god for eBay, is all I have to say.