5 Major Mistakes That Destroy Marriage

All responsibility is on mom

Hanging all the care for a child on a woman is so last century. Two people take part in conception, so it is logical that the responsibility for their “product of love” lies on both parents.

Moms, abandoned in the embrasure alone, quickly lose their spark. Their duties require lots of strength, but there is no place to draw it from. A plea for help turns into a cry, despair.

If a woman does not receive support from the father of the child, there will be disagreements. A growing tumor of mutual dissatisfaction will start growing. But if you are not like everyone else, but on the contrary, actively involve dad in taking care of the child from the first days of the baby’s birth, then peace in the family will be preserved.

All attention is on parental obligations

From a loving wife, a person with her own goals and interests, a woman turns into something turns into someone else. All of her interests are focused on children and related topics. And the husband remains on the sidelines. All of his requests and needs are ignored.

Dad begins being jealous of his own child, starts arguing with his wife. The wall of alienation is growing. But after becoming parents, a man and a woman do not cease to be spouses, people close to each other, and, at the very least, lovers. Simple phrases like “I love you”, “How can I help you?”, “Thank you” will help to establish emotional closeness once again.

The more positive information the spouses provide to each other, the stronger the relationship becomes.

Not being on the same page

Parents have many new responsibilities, and in most families, they are distributed by default. The wife believes that her husband should provide all the material needs to their family. The husband is sure that the spouse (since she is at home) is obliged to watch after the house serve a three-course dinner every day

However, none of the requirements were agreed upon in advance. Parents are angry with each other, hoarding grievances and pain because of unfulfilled obligations. But you must establish a dialogue. You have to distribute who is responsible for what, assign a family budget. Make adjustments as necessary. In this case, in addition to domestic comfort, a couple receives a bonus: the ability to peacefully coexist and a new level of trust.

The active intervention of relatives

Young parents need help. They don’t just need it, they can’t go without it. Because of this, relatives barrage them with their services and advice. Compassionate grandmothers and grandfathers are ready to take all the care upon themselves in order to help their beloved children. But, of course, they can’t do it without criticizing the young parents.

A newly-made mom and dad are victims of the situation. Now all the important questions (who is right, who is guilty, who and what must do) are decided on the family council.

The help of relatives is good, but there should be little of it. It is necessary to set some certain boundaries which they should not cross. For example: "I will gratefully accept your advice and criticism, but I need to get my own experience of motherhood." The basis of the family is on the marital axis. Even if your relatives have the best of intentions – they may cause lots of serious damage down the line.

Mutual destructive criticism

“You're doing it wrong,” “It's all because of you.” A husband accuses his wife because the latter is not able to do her job. A wife blames her husband for his lack of initiative, inability to work with their children.

Grievances are growing, claims become personal. Instead of attacking each other, parents should recognize that it is hard for both of them. Yes, it is difficult to get used to new responsibilities, but personal attacks won’t help to solve this issue. You need to provide and receive mutual support. The ability to trust a partner, to talk freely about your weaknesses, without fear of criticism, is the basis of a strong relationship.

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